MTL: Dexter
FTL(Hardest Part): KayL
TLC/Editor: Alisa
Final Editors: G-String
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Chapter 4
My Determination
──Ah, frustating, utterly frustating.
My chest felt as though it might burst with anger.
I, Nanase Yuzuki, stood drenched in the rain.
Even after Kureha had left the rooftop, I lingered there, almost as if trying to cleanse away the ceaseless cascade of tears, standing in a daze.
Frustration, humiliation, mortification.
To instigate a one-on-one confrontation and then suffer a complete defeat, wallowing in tears, was beyond pitiful.
“Cough, snff, ugh, cough…”
I clung to the hope that perhaps letting it all out would offer some solace. Yet no matter how many times I sobbed, the rapid thud of my heart persisted.
──Thump, thump, thump.
I couldn’t retort a single thing against my kouhai. Her unwavering love, her beauty, as she loved the person she cared for wholeheartedly, left me thoroughly defeated. The me who had feigned superiority, the one who had intruded into someone else’s love story, now felt insignificantly small.
Kureha was right.
“──What do you want to do with us?”
Who did I think I was?
“If you’re trying to take advantage of his kindness, then I won’t stay silent.”
Who was I to act all high and mighty when we weren’t even a couple?
No, perhaps that was nothing more than a flimsy excuse.
Could it be that I had unknowingly harbored fear? Fear of a girl who might alter our relationship, who could disrupt the calm stagnation where no one got hurt or hurt another.
If that’s the case────
Who was this pathetic girl?
Was I truly Nanase Yuzuki?
Wasn’t I supposed to be the girl who could narrow the emotional distance more skillfully than anyone else? Hadn’t there been more instances that felt like moments between lovers compared to those times when we were mere pretenders?
What was I content with my self-centered assumptions?
How could I ever hope to match Kureha’s resolute determination with such superficial sentiments?
Certainly, I… we believed.
Somewhere within our hearts, we deceived ourselves into believing that our love was uniquely special. We convinced ourselves that only we could carve a place in Chitose’s heart, just like that.
But in truth──
It was merely a matter of chance that we happened to be close to him, happened to be saved by him, and ended up falling in love. It wouldn’t be strange at all if it had been someone else, and it wouldn’t be odd if such a someone were to appear in the future.
“Now, I think there are five girls in his heart.”
Recalling my own naive thoughts almost felt like being strangled by shame.
Despite yearning for a gentle stagnation of the status quo, I was attempting to erect barriers against the girl who was striving to upend the disparity in the time everyone had spent, genuinely yearning for him.
How utterly ridiculous.
Kureha must have named her uncontrollable feelings—love—and raced ahead without hesitation.
And then there was me.
While I stared in astonishment as Yuuko confessed to Chitose, I must have prayed to the heavens for just a little more time.
Was I really planning to repeat the same thing again? Wasn’t this supposed to be a real love story? Didn’t I intend to bring down the moon?
──Ah, frustating, utterly frustating.
“DAMMIT!!!”
I was furious, utterly furious, at the girl named Nanase Yuzuki.
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Plebian Translation 